Sunday, 18 June 2023

To my kids on Father's Day

If I was instrumental in bringing you into the world, certain things came along the deal which I'm responsible for; you better know about the roles I'm going to play in your life.

As the Protector:

My primary role as a father is to give you physical, emotional, social, and financial protection to the best of my ability till you become an adult. It's also my role to provide you with exactly that much protection which will prepare you to be independent and autonomous and not make you dependent on me for life. Don't expect me to protect you when you are wrong; I'm not your private bouncer. But when you fall, betrayed by your love and the world, I will be there to provide the safety net and a launch pad to swing you back into life.

As the Provider:

My role is also to provide the resources which are needed for you to develop into an educated, sensitive, emotionally stable, well-mannered, and respectful human being with values and principles who can provide for himself and lead a small but honorable life. It will start with my being the example of all of it. I'm not here to give you a luxury lifestyle, foreign vacation, and admission to fancy foreign universities. You have to earn it yourself. Don't try to make me look deficient as a father because your friends' fathers are breaking their backs trying to live up to the expectations of their wives and children. Period!

As the Disciplinarian:

If I'm doing the above two things well, be prepared for the third. My job is to discipline you, your thoughts, and your actions. I am here to set standards and instill values and principles in you. Breaking you in is no easy job and I don't want you to love me for this. You can run to your mother, and grandmother to cry and complain against me to release your angst. I want you to remember my face when you do anything wrong and fear the consequences even if I am not around.

Your Gen Z friends will say that your dad is old school, controlling, orthodox, and chauvinistic but digest that and do as I say.

You will remember all the things that I did to you as discussed above when you become an adult and have your own children to raise. You will remember me and appreciate the hard choices I made when you would be falling and rising and successfully navigating the obstacles of life. But by then I would be history; not around to know your appreciation of my role in making you.

That's a dad’s life.

4 comments:

  1. Kshirod Mohapatra18 June 2023 at 14:51

    Wish all fathers could have said so categorically as you deed.
    As I was knowing your father and some of his thoughts, I see a lot of his influences in this.
    While reading, his words came to my mind.
    A wonderful read.

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  2. As a father, I quite agree with you though I am not a great example for my kids. You seem to be quite a disciplinarian!!

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  3. Quite well articulated. This is what a father should be all about. Let the kids grow to their full potential and become meaningful human beings....

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  4. Pratitee Kanchan19 June 2023 at 15:35

    A uniquely candid expression of thoughts and feelings of a father. A strong bridge that could connect the gen z with the pre-seventies unshakable values.

    ReplyDelete

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