The past few weeks have been unbearably hectic—marked by shock, grief, and strain. A string of medical emergencies involving a young relative and the death of an elderly family member have left deep emotional, physical, and financial wounds. As if that were not enough, the relentless pressure to observe age-old rituals became the final straw.
I write this in a daze, overwhelmed by the hundred instructions handed down by a dozen self-appointed experts. Some prescriptions are laughably absurd, yet the zeal with which kin and neighbors enforce them drains your will to resist. In a country that has failed to teach basic civic sense, it's surprising to see that these rituals are followed unquestioningly, without adaptation or change.
A generous definition of a conservative is someone who wants to preserve the good things of the past, and a liberal is someone who wants to discard the bad things based on scientific evidence and social relevance and retain the good ones. But the general perception created by the extreme elements in both groups is that a conservative is the one who wants to cling to everything of the past, and a liberal is the one who wants to destroy everything of the past. Torn between these two extreme views, we see families prefer the appearance of compliance over being labelled ‘liberal,’ simply because obedience has become the safer social currency.
Even so, my reasoning mind asks: What are these rituals? Why were they established? How have they evolved? And why have they endured?
By definition, a social ritual is a repeated, structured set of actions performed by individuals or groups according to established rules, carrying symbolic meaning within a community.
Rituals reinforce group identity, mark transitions such as birth, marriage, and death, coordinate social life, express values and beliefs, and reduce uncertainty. Their features include repetition, prescribed sequence, recognised roles, symbolic elements (objects, words, gestures), and a shared understanding. Rituals permeate daily life—greetings, religious rites, civic ceremonies like graduations and inaugurations, manners and etiquette, and rites of passage such as weddings and funerals—each bearing the imprint of a community’s culture.
Funeral rituals, specifically, serve overlapping practical, psychological, social, and symbolic functions.
They structure grief, enabling mourners to express sorrow, find closure, and begin recovery. They honour the deceased, affirm identity and social role, and bring family and community together for mutual support. Rituals mark the transition from life to whatever afterlife or memorial status a culture recognises, enact beliefs about death and continuity, and reassure the living about moral order. Practically, they ensure hygienic handling and disposal of the body, reduce infection risk, and manage material affairs like inheritance and burial sites. They also signal roles and obligations, transmit traditions, and reinforce norms; functions that foster cooperation and social stability, which anthropologists argue helped such practices persist across cultures.
Consider the funeral rituals practised in coastal Odisha over the roughly ten days following a death.
At close inspection, these rites aim to ensure the timely and respectful disposal of remains in the presence of the community, safeguard family and public hygiene, and provide a structured path for mourning and eventual return to normal life. Extended family, clan, and community supply the physical, emotional, and financial support needed during this crisis.
Let's guess how these rituals would have evolved.
Knowledge in any society arises from observation and experience. People cannot be expected to perform scientific tests for every action, so when wise individuals observed reliable cause-and-effect patterns, they taught others to follow them for safety and benefit. Over time, such practices became social norms and rituals, formed with the community’s well-being in mind and shaped by geography, climate, endemic diseases, economic conditions, and the average person’s knowledge and emotional capacity at the time.
Many such practices became part of regional religious customs and gained strong social protection. So entrenched are they that people follow them without reassessing their relevance. This rigidity invites abuse: the uneducated, socially marginalised, and economically poor not only suffer the loss of a loved one but also shoulder costly rituals that can shatter their finances.
Rituals vary by culture and are heavily influenced by climate and local diseases. We see clear differences across geographies and seasons, and subtle variations within regions; evidence that people and their customs change over time.
We have witnessed rapid change in the last four or five decades: advances in infrastructure, information technology, and telecommunications that created new opportunities, enabled social and economic mobility, and reduced regional imbalances. Remote villages now have roads, electricity, and running water—amenities once found only in cities. If we can adapt so quickly to technological and structural change, why do we not apply the same flexibility to inherited rituals and make them time and place-appropriate? It's often seen that individually, we may question and adapt, but collectively, we often surrender critical thought and choose compliance in the name of safety.
Many rituals, long woven into regional and religious life, persist unquestioned despite changing contexts. Their rigidity often burdens the most vulnerable—those who are uneducated, marginalised, or poor—who must bear not only grief but also costly, archaic practices that can devastate their finances.
The time to review these ridiculous rituals has come, and individuals and powerful voices in society should bring about these reforms not only by talking about them but by practising them and setting examples for others to follow.
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